Do You Bully Yourself?

Do you ever feel like you are just coming up a little short? Do you ever feel stuck? Do you ever feel like you are doing all the right things and still wonder why you’re struggling? Why you have not gotten the promotion you have been working towards? Why your relationships always seem to be problematic? Why life seems so hard? Have you ever wanted to learn something new, a new language, a new skill or whatever else, but don’t? Why don’t you? Have you ever wanted to lose weight and eat more fruits and vegetables, but have neither lost the weight nor improved your diet? Why? Have you ever wanted to volunteer more, or keep your house cleaner, or take a trip, but haven’t? The answer is that your inner bully is leading your life’s dance. Yes, you, the very person reading this! You are the biggest bully of all. You and only you are allowing your inner bully to control your life! Are you getting this? It is not your circumstances or those of someone else holding you back in life. You are holding yourself back from dancing freely and living a whole life.

You have an inner voice, a voice that tells you how great you are. But it can also, all too often, tell you that you are anything but great. It tells you to be “practical” and to “not dream too big.” It says, “You’re not good enough,” and “You deserve just what you have and nothing more.” It can try to convince you that you are “somehow less” than those around you.

You may not pay attention to this negative voice, but if it’s not dealt with, it will destroy your dreams, aspirations, relationships – in short, damage the quality of your life. It can stomp on your spirit and hold you down. This is the voice of your inner bully. The difference between a happy, successful person and everyone else is the successful person has learned how to win the battle with their inner bully and dance freely.

You can be a smart, talented, and awesome person, but your inner bully can make you think you are average or stupid, untalented, even a loser. If you’re a recent grad, your inner bully can make your feel as if you have no skills and don’t belong anywhere. It’s the inner bully that will make a new mom feel guilty because she’s chosen to work, or make her feel unsuccessful if she’s chosen to stay home with her new baby. It is the inner bully that encourages you to stay at a boring job because you believe you that you’ll never find anything else, or that you’re too old to change jobs, or too invested to start your own business. The inner bully uses the fear of failure to play you like a puppet. The inner bully will take your spirit and try to suppress it, slow you down, and ultimately stop you from reaching your passions and desires.

Like the bills that come every month, the tax season around the corner, and a bad penny, your inner bully constantly shows up to challenge you. Because its presence is so routine, you may actually have become numb to its destructive influence and feel that you have no control over it. But you do have control!

The toxicity of your inner bully’s negative self-talk will lead to the deterioration of your self-worth and the poisoning of a happy life if you are not able to recognize and squash its voice. Your inner bully is sneaky; you may deny that you even have an inner bully. News flash: You have an inner bully. I have an inner bully. Everyone does! Most people pass up the opportunity to deal with their inner bully. Those of you that grab a hold of it and combat it by using the strategies provided ahead will experience a more abundant, whole life. The longer you fail to address your inner bully, the less productive you will be, the more negative your outlook will become, and the less money you will make. You must address your inner bully in order to grow. You must suffocate the destructive words you say to yourself, so you will succeed!

I know all about the inner bully. I had allowed my inner bully to control my happiness and success for years before I learned how to dominate it. In formulating the worksheets and exercises provided on my website you can defeat the bully within you by living wholisticlly (Yes, spelled with a “w”).

So, what is the inner bully and how do you overcome its destructive influence? What is the key that will unlock the happy, successful future you deserve and what is the formula that will leave you dancing a beautiful life-dance? The answer is to put a little effort into each aspect of your life everyday and get rid of the “trash” in your life. You will begin with getting rid of the trash with the worksheet provided below. Then you must evaluate where you are now by doing the happy-whole-you-daily worksheet. From there you will reveal the areas in your life that need some extra attention. Remember, anytime you work towards improving one area of your life don’t abandon the other areas. For more helpful worksheets visit: happywholeyou.com and you can email us at info@happywholeyou.com.

“The one thing you have that no one else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live only as you can.”

-Neil Gaiman

Worksheet #1 – The Trash Can

Before venturing on I would like you to take a moment and mentally throw away any negative inner bully energy. I have a variety of worksheets throughout this book that will aid you in becoming a more Happy-Whole-You. This first worksheet is your Happy-Whole-You Trash Can. Take every negative thing in your life and write it on one of these shapes. Everything you write on this sheet is going in the trash. You are throwing these things away forever by writing them down. Print a larger copy from my HappyWholeYou.com website.

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